Area students must fend for themselves for the next couple of days while local schools report closures on both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Parents were shocked to learn on Friday that schools would not be open for the weekend. “This is not surprising at all, this happens every single weekend. What’s wrong with you?” quipped one outraged parent. Students were equally miffed by the forfeiture of their weekend education. “Wait, are you serious?” remarked one student in disbelief. We’re serious alright, you read it in the Observer first: NO SCHOOL THIS WEEKEND.
Some speculate the 5 day schedule was enacted as a cost-cutting measure by the District. DC Public School chancellor Kaya Henderson was not available for comment as she had reportedly “taken off for the weekend.” The office of errant education tsar Michelle Rhee provided the Observer with the following comment: “Ms. Rhee has no comment.” The Observer’s investigative team will continue to probe deeper into this story as we hope to uncover the heart of weekender culture and its impact on the decline of modern American society.
Weekend school closures in the area:
Paul Public Charter, Coolidge High, Whitier Education Campus, Nativity Catholic, Capital City Public Charter, Jewish Primary Day School of the Nation’s Capital, Latin American Montessori Bilingual Public Charter
*Little Rascals Doggie Day Care and Boarding will remain open through the weekend
No comments:
Post a Comment