The recent rash of herb burglaries has lead many to question the safety of our beloved street. With the temperatures rising, like so many cicadas, area criminals are crawling from their holes to prowl the seemingly sheltered neighborhood. The Metropolitan Police Department is well aware of the situation and has hit back hard. This week, the MPD rolled out a shiny new ED-210, the latest in robotic crime prevention from industry giant Omni Consumer Products. Unlike previous models, the ED-210 is primarily a stationary, camera-based device capable of capturing criminals in 7 stunning megapixels of high-definition clarity.
The full weapons capability of the ED-210 remains classified, although many area residents continue to make increasingly optimistic speculations. “That thing’s got bazookas in there, I know it!” remarked one area man. Squad Captain Alex Murphy, who heads up MPD’s robotic crime prevention detail had this to say about the new initiative on Peabody, “we’re just doing our job.” The Peabody Street Observer salutes you, Captain Murphy; godspeed.
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